You're to blame
by stylewriter565
Summary: Finn is having problems and almost dies. There is only one person who can save Finn and he blames himself for everything. Rated T for violence
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

(Finn's POV)

I was sitting alone at lunch that day. Quinn and Puck had a doctor's appointment and had to leave early. Jesse and Rachel had taken this time to practice their duet one more time. The rest of the crowd? I didn't know where they were and I didn't really care. I took a bite out of my sandwich and thought over the events of the previous week. _Mom is dating Mr. Hummel. She gave away everything of dad's. She betrayed him. I'll never really know him now. She's getting lost. I'm going to lose her too. What should I do about this? I mean this on top of everything else like Quinn lying and Puck lying and the weird Kurt thing. Not to mention there is Rachel the crazy girl who only falls for people of the exact same type. I don't have a chance with her or any girl for that manner because of my failed attempt at having sex already. Ah damn now I have to go to that Spanish test. _

I walked out of the caf and headed towards Mr. Schue's room. We had a big test today and I had studied a fair amount. I sat down and took out a pencil. Mr. Schue came and handed each of us what seemed like a book but was really only a five page test. I ripped it open and began at once to answer the questions. It was very hard at first and I couldn't quite seem to get some of them. However, as the test progressed I found it to become easier and easier. As I worked through it my confidence started to build. When the bell rang I hurried off to my next class. After school I went to football practice. We were doing some drills and then a short game against each other to get ready for the game that following weekend. We were lined up to play. The ball was hiked and I ran to tackle one of the guys trying to get it when I felt my ankle go weak. Soon I was shorter than the other guy and I saw coach rushing towards me.

"Finn are you ok?" He asked checking my ankle when he got there.

"Yeah. I'll be ok," I said but as soon as I put weight on my foot I felt the color go out of my face and the world start to sway a little.

"Finn, son, sit down. That thing could be broken and I want to have you here for as much of the season as I can."

I reluctantly sat down on the bench and propped up my foot. Coach sent some of the other guys to get the team doctor. Finally after what seemed like forever he came over to me and took a look at it.

"Finn the only way that I can tell if something is wrong is by moving it. You tell me when it hurts," the doctor said grasping my foot. He twisted it and turned it until at one point I couldn't bear it any longer. There was a bad pain in my ankle and I cried out. The team stepped back all giving me worried looks. Sweat clung to my brow and I could feel tears trying to push their way out. I didn't cry though. Crying was the coward's way out. Instead I bit my lip hard, I could feel blood pouring into my mouth but ignored it. The doctor poked a certain area and I winced in pain. He looked up at me and smiled. '_What the hell could he be smiling about I think I just broke my ankle.'_

"Don't worry Finn, it's not broken if that is what you're thinking," the coach said looking at me.

"Then what the hell happened to it?" I asked still trying to fight back tears.

"You just sprained it. Not too bad, but bad enough that I wanna put it in a splint and put you on crutches for at least two or three weeks." The doctor got out the needed supplies and had one of the players get him a set of crutches. Soon my foot was splinted and I was hobbling off to the showers with a hurt foot.

"Hey Finn?" Puck called out to me as we got into the locker room.

"What?" I asked not having time for this. I needed to get home and eat and start studying for that test.

"I was just wondering if you wanted a ride home, ya know with your foot and everything."

"nah thanks man its cool," I said shrugging and hobbled to the car.

When I got home I parked the car out front where I usually do and grabbed my crutches. I walked, or er hobbled into the house and went and got something to eat from the kitchen. I then went up to my room to do my homework. I saw a note on the door of my room it was from mom. I took it down and read it.

_Dear Finn,_

_Went out to dinner with Mr. Hummel for the night have a good one._

_Love, Mom_

I frowned . I didn't like the notion of someone dating mom. Then I opened the door to my room and was about to throw my backpack on my bed when I realized something different. There was no desk where I could do my work. There was no lamp, or bedside table for that matter. There were a lot of boxes in my room though. Actually, just about everything except my bed and some sheets were in boxes. _Great now I can't focus on this stupid history test. I just wish she would tell me what is going on sometimes,'_ I thought. I went and decided that some sleep would be good right now. I went over to the bed, made it, and passed out of all time and space.

**A/N: Hey so what do you think? Keep or trash?**


	2. Chapter 2

Tuesday

Finns POV 

I was awoken by the smell of bacon downstairs. '_Mom must be home,_' I thought as I rushed to get out of bed. I stumbled though forgetting my foot. She shouldn't have been home yet but I figured they had let her off the night shift early. She was eating her bacon and eggs with some toast when I got downstairs. I fixed myself a plate and looked over at my mother calmly eating her meal. Something was different about her I just couldn't place my fingers on it but something was defiantly different about her. I sat down anyway and began to eat.

"Finn," she said suddenly and I looked up from my plate.

"Yesth?" I asked my mouth full of eggs.

"Are you enjoying the food?" she asked trying to avoid what she needed to tell me. She looked at my foot and then at me.

"Yeah thanks mum but I need to get going to school. Don't worry about the foot just a sprain," I said getting out of my chair.

"Alright have a lovely day sweetie," she waved after me.

I got to McKinley High and hobbled through the doors hoping for a better day than yesterday. However, the first thing I saw was the bench in the hallway. It wasn't so much the bench that bothered me it was the two people making out on the bench that bothered me. Quinn and Puck. '_Just what I need,' _I thought as I crutched off to find someone else to hang out with. The first person who came to mind was Rachel so I went around looking for her. I managed to find her with Jesse of course. They were talking about the latest solo in Glee club.

"I think you're so much better than that old Finn," Rachel said smiling at Jesse.

"I think I am too I think I deserve these solos. And everyone is so understanding about that here. I love you," he whispered kissing Rachel lightly on the lips.

I turned around and went to class not thinking of what else to do. I sat there and just stared at the wall before anyone came in. I think I got a B on the quiz that we had that day. The rest of the day went pretty much the same as yesterday. I sat alone at lunch again. I went to Spanish class to get my test back. Mr. Schue looked at me when he handed the test back. I looked down at the paper and felt like crying. There was a big red F staring me back in the face. _'How could I let this happen?' _I thought. I had Glee that day and they didn't want me at football so I headed slowly down to the auditorium.

"Hey there Finn," Mr. Schue greeted me, "You gonna be able to move on that thing?"

"No but I can at least sing for now," I said getting up on the stage with difficulty.

"Finn how about you just take the day off you're no use to us just sitting around," Mr. Schue said.

"Fine," I muttered and hobbled out of the auditorium. I managed to get home and get up the stairs to sit on my bed and do some of my homework. I hated how everything was going right now. My life was taking a turn for the worse. I sighed and concentrated on my history homework. I really didn't feel like reading about the Civil War when I was having one of those in my own life. _And why was it called the civil war? It was in no way near civil_. All these thoughts kept coming to me as I read about Pickett's charge at Gettysburg. I heard the door open and looked up from my reading. Seconds afterward I saw Puck standing in my doorway.

"What do you want?" I muttered pretending to read.

"Uh we were going to work on the project together," Puck stated looking slightly confused.

"We never agreed that we were going to do a project together."

"Yeah we agreed at the beginning of the year."

"Oh ok so we agreed when we were still best friends and you hadn't impregnated my girlfriend that we would do a project."

"Would you stop being such a pansy about everything? I swear you're like a girl."

"You would be too if you knew what I was going through. Now get the hell out of my house."

"Not until we're done with the project."

"Go work on your own project," I said shoving him out of my bedroom and into the hallway. I listened until the front door closed and his car started up to start crying. '_Was I a pansy?'_ At that moment I didn't really know and I didn't really care. I just wanted to know what was going on. I lay on my bed for what seemed like forever thinking about everything and becoming more depressed with each minute. I just wanted out of this mess. 'Who the hell asked me what I wanted? Why the hell does this have to happen to me?' I thought having my own little pity party. I must have fallen asleep because I awoken by the sound of the garage door. I looked over at the click it read 10:24PM. I went downstairs to greet my mother who had just come home. I rounded the bottom of the stairs to see her humming to herself.

"Hey mom how are you?" I asked looking at her tiredly.

"Finn honeys are you still up? Are you alright you look sick," she reached out and felt my forehead, "No fever. Have you had any dinner?"

"No sorry I fell asleep in my room. Can I have something?" I asked looking at her.

"Why of course you can have something to eat. I was just going to make myself a sandwich and some decaf coffee."

"Sounds excellent," I said and headed into the kitchen.

Mom got out the right things and soon we were both sitting at the table eating PB&J and drinking coffee. We just sat there for a while until my mum broke the silence.

"Finn there is something I need to tell you," she said looking into her coffee. I knew this couldn't be good, she only looked into her coffee when it was something bad.

"I got that from this morning," I said taking another sip of my coffee, "By the way why is my room all packed?"

"That's what I wanted to talk about. We're moving sweetheart."

"What? With who? Where? When?"

"This Saturday. We are moving in with the Hummels. I love you Finn but I need him and he needs me. So be prepared."

"What this is insane! How the hell could you do this to me? Why don't I get a say in my life anymore huh? I'm bouncing mom. You can have your life with Mr. Hummel and Kurt, but me I don't want to be a part of it. You've just lost the only family you have left," with that I hobbled the best I could out the door and into my truck. I got in a turned it on. I pulled out and went the only place where I knew it was safe. School. I would feel safe there and it would give me time to think. I pulled into the parking lot and went into the locker rooms that the staff always left open. I went in and found a nice looking piece of floor and laid down for a little just thinking. I sat there knowing that I would have to brush my teeth eventually. I had all overnight supplies in my gym locker. _Would everyone be better off without me?' _I thought, _'I think they would. I mean they don't talk to me and they don't like me. Let's face it I'm just a pain in everyone's ass. I should just end it and make everything better for everyone around me.' _ I opened the small bag with everything in it and smiled at what I saw.

**A/N: What did Finn find in his bag??????? What will happen? Thank you for all the reviews….keep them coming**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Finn's POV

I looked down at what I had found in my bag. An old razor blade. '_Well this will make the job a lot easier,' _ I thought as I held it. The sharp edge gleamed in the faint light of the locker room. I looked at my watch it read 4:35AM. '_That gives me enough time. No one comes in this early. I'll be dead by the time they find me and then they can say how much better their lives will be once they throw me in a hole in the ground. Now where to commit the act? Where would no one look?'_ As I thought this my eyes fell on the shower stalls. '_Of course no one would dare look in there if the curtain was closed. It's fool proof.' _ I went into one of the showers gingerly holding the blade between my fingertips. I took off my watch and sat down on the bottom of the stall looking at my arms. I shut the curtain. I felt my wrist and found a pulsing artery. I pressed the blade to my skin and slid it across cutting deep into my wrist. Blood poured from the cut. Thankfully I hadn't punctured the tendon that worked my thumb and I did the same to the other wrist. I held back trying to scream from the pain. Soon I was feeling dizzy as I saw the blood pool around myself. After about ten minutes my vision started to go hazy and I smiled. _'Good-bye world. You'll be a hell of a lot better off without me.'_ As I thought this I looked around the stall and everything went black.

Puck's POV

I was in the gym doing my early weight lifting. I had started around 4:45 and was doing pretty good. I had to build up as much muscle as I could so I could take care of Quinn and the baby. However, something else was on my mind. Finn. He had acted so strangely the other day. I mean I didn't blame him. He was right in everything that he said to me but he could have at least been a little more civil. Oh well just a phase. As I benched my 350 I looked up at the ceiling just thinking about nothing. At about 5:15 I decided that I had done enough lifting and that I should probably go and get a shower. _'A nice long hot shower sounds really good about now. And then breakfast with Quinn at 5:20. This is going to be a great day.' _ I walked into the locker room and saw some stuff lying around on the floor. I ignored it and went to my locker to get all the stuff I needed for the shower. I turned around to go to the showers and dropped everything that I was holding. There was red stuff coming out of one of the showers. Lots of red stuff. I walked a few feet forward to confirm that my suspicions were true. The red stuff was blood. Whoever was bleeding had to be hurt pretty bad. I needed to make sure they were all right. I knew they would probably need the hospital.

"Hey are you OK?" I asked silently cursing myself for even asking. They weren't OK they were probably bleeding to death. "Are you conscious?" When there was no response I decided I had no other choice. As much as I hated to do this I had to invade this dude's privacy. I tentatively walked over to the shower curtain. I pulled it back with great force. I stood frozen for a moment. When I came to my senses I almost threw up. It was Finn. Finn was the one bleeding like crazy. His wrists were slit blood gushing out of both of them making a bloody pool around his body. Next to his body was a razor. Something he had most likely gotten from his toiletry bag that he kept here. _'What would make you do this? Why would you even try? What the hell happened to you?' _ All the questions ran through my head as I looked at an ever paling Finn. Then my original thought occurred to me. '_He needs the hospital.' _ I went to grab my phone in my pocket only to realize too late that I had left it in the seat of my truck. "Fuck, he's gonna die here and it's gonna be all my fault," I cursed. I looked at Finn knowing that I couldn't leave him alone, but I had to do something.

Quinn's POV

I was waiting by the cafeteria for Puck. We were supposed to have an early morning breakfast at 5:20. It was 5:33 and Puck had still not shown his face anywhere near the caf. I was getting concerned and decided that maybe I should go down and check on him to make sure nothing had happened to him while he was getting his shower. I ran down to the locker room and quickly rushed down the stairs only to meet a terrified looking Puck in my trail.

Puck's POV

I was still sitting with Finn when I heard someone coming down the stairs. I rushed over to see who it might be and if they had a cell phone to call 911. I came face to face with my beautiful Quinn. I had forgotten about breakfast in the hustle and bustle of everything.

"I am so sorry I forgot about breakfast. Things have been crazy," I said studying her face, "Do you have your cell on you?"

"Yeah baby what is wrong?" she asked scanning me with a worried look.

"Come quick I need your help," was all I responded looking at her.

"Ok," she said looking a bit lost.

We got to Finn and once again I thought I was going to throw up.

"Holy shit what happened?" she asked looking at her ex with teary eyes.

"He tried to kill himself. Call 911 and then go get Mr. Schue. He is going to die if you don't."

Quinn's POV

I went with Puck to the shower and saw my ex laying there. I was told to call 911 and soon after obeyed and then rushed up the stairs to the Spanish classroom. I saw Mr. Schue sitting at his desk.

"Mr. Schue we need you in the locker rooms immediately, Finn tried to kill himself and I called 911. We just need an adult there."

"How bad is it?" Mr. Schue asked.

"It's…..." I was cut off by a blood curdling scream that I knew could only be from one person…..Puck.

**A/N: What just happened with Puck? Is Finn going to make it? Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

Mr.S POV

Quinn had come to get me. I was confused at first by the teary blonde rushing into my office so early in the morning. She explained that finn had tried to kill himself.

"How bad is it?" I asked still in shock that finn would do something like this. We were running back to the locker room when she was trying to explain to me what had happened. Just then we heard a shriek. We both looked at one another and knew that the scream belonged to Puck.

"Go flag down the ambulance I'm going to go and see what happened," I said still dazed. The blonde nodded and on instinct I ran to the locker room from which the scream had sounded.

"Puck? Puck?" I yelled when I got there.

"Here Mr. Scheu," he said back to me his voice full of sorrow.

"What happened Puck why did you scream?"

"He turned paler and then I…..," the teen started sobbing again and groped for something. I lent my arm for something to lean on.

"You what Puck?" I prompted.

"I felt for his pulse but it wasn't there," Puck said crying again, "He's dead. My best friend killed himself."

"Puck calm down the ambulance should be here soon. He'll be fine I promise," I said knowing in my heart that Finn very well could be dead.

"No there is no pulse he will die," Puck said slumping onto the floor. Just then Quinn rushed down with the paramedics.

(No one POV just story)

"How's he doing? This young lady informed us of what is going on," one of the paramedics said.

"He is dead there is no pulse," Puck said.

"Not necessarily kid. He just doesn't have much time left that's all. Let's get him loaded into the ambulance and make sure he's not gonna die."

"Please please let him be alright."

"You wanna come with us?"

"Yes I would like that."

"I'll excuse you for the day and explain the circumstances to your teachers," Mr. Schue said.

"Thank- you," Puck responded.

"Let me know how he is doing from time to time," Quinn said through her tears.

"Will do baby," Puck responded.

The paramedics put Finn on a stretcher and carried him out of the locker room. Puck was close behind and Mr. Schue was comforting a crying Quinn in the background.

**Puck's POV**

I was walking quickly behind the paramedics as they took Finn to the ambulance. '_This cannot be happening,' _I thought as I walked. '_Again Finn what happened? Was it something I did? Is it me and Quinn? What made you do this? Please make it out alive. We may have our troubles but I couldn't imagine life without you. Glee will be devastated.' _Soon we were at the ambulance I was on auto-pilot and climbed in the back of the ambulance. I didn't feel anything. I just stared at my best friend hoping this was all a dream and that I would wake up. But it wasn't a dream I knew that. It became a reality when they started to perform CPR because he had stopped breathing. I sat there feeling as helpless as a puppy. They managed to get him breathing again, well breathing a little bit. One of the paramedics put a mask over his face. I just sat there and stared. '_Finn you should have seen the look on Mr. Schue's face. He was mortified that you did something like this. Yes, Mr. Schue saw you like this. And Quinn poor thing. I know you too aren't the best of friends anymore but she was crying. She's really worried for you. She still cares Finn. She just wishes you would care to. Please if you make it out of this please be her friend.'_

Before I knew it we had arrived at the hospital. I looked at Finn. He was deathly pale. I was ordered to step out of the ambulance and did so without really thinking about it. I watched as the paramedics rushed my friend into the ER. The driver of the ambulance shook my shoulder.

"Son I would go into the ER. A doctor will be out to tell you how your friend is doing OK?"

"Yeah sure," I said. I walked into the ER dazed. I sat down in one of the waiting room chairs. '_Now all I can do is wait until a doctor tells me how he is doing. I hope they are saving him right now.'_

Just then a doctor burst through the door.

"Noah Puckerman?" he stated looking at me.

"Yes?" I answered. '_Had he come to tell me that Finn had died and that I would be out of a best friend?'_

"We need you back here now."

"Me but what can I do?"

"Your friend needs a blood transfusion if you have the right type of blood then we can give him some of your blood. Would you be willing to do that. It could save his life."

"Yes anything that could save him. I don't care how many times you stick me," I responded knowing full well I hated needles.

"Come with me quickly," the doctor responded. I ran after him. We arrived at a chair soon. The doctor told me to sit down and I obeyed. He took a small sample of my blood and then hurried off to give it to the technician. I sat in the chair praying to God that my blood would be the right type. About 4 minutes later the doctor rushed back and told me that I had blood type O.

"So can I give him blood?" I asked confused, I didn't know much about blood.

"Yes you are a universal donor you can give your blood to anyone," the doctor responded.

"Finally some good news. Well get me hooked up and give my blood to Finn," I said scared out of my mind of the blood and needles that were to follow. A nurse came up to me with a gurney and told me to lay down. I obeyed and watched as the nurse sterilized my arm and inserted the needle. I winced in pain. '_ Come one Puck you have to stay strong through this. Finn needs me.' _ They were now transferring my blood to Finn's body. EWWWW blood. Yeah I don't look like the type that blood would bother but trust me it does.

"Can I close my eyes? The blood is bothering me a bit," I asked the nurse.

"Sure sweetie you do whatever you need to do," she smiled.

**(The nurses point of view)**

The kid, Noah, looked kinda nervous as we were taking his blood. He asked if he could close his eyes. I said sure. A lot of people do close their eyes. I know I would and blood doesn't bother me that much. Probably just the fact that there is so much of it coming out of you. The procedure was almost done and I looked at the kid he had his eyes closed peacefully. A few minutes later the procedure was done and I removed the needle gently from the boys' arm. _'He must really love his buddy to go through all of this for him. Well time to get him up so he can have something to eat and drink and then he'll have to rest for a while.'_ I shook him.

"Noah? Noah wake up your done. You need to eat something," I cooed. He wasn't responding, "Noah? Noah?" I shook him a little harder. He still wasn't responding. "Doctor he's not responding," I said and the doctor hurried to my side.

**A/N: OOOOO why isn't Puck waking up?**


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